Too Much Information All the Way Around

Today I decided to go for a two-fer and take Liam to get his hair cut AND to his vaccination appointment.  We were already going to be out, right?  I thought if I was feeling really great after that I would go to Target and get a few more items crossed off my "to do" list.

Before we left the house Liam announced that his phone was ringing.  He selected a board from his wooden blocks and took the call.  The conversation went something like this:

"Hi R---!  No, I can't come over right now, we have to go get my haircut and shot.  Oh, OK.  Well if your mommy says it's alright and my mommy says it's all right maybe we can.  OK.  Good bye."

So they were making plans to get together some other time.  He had the same conversation with a couple of other friends by the time we made it to the barber shop and was getting quite exasperated with his friends for calling him so much when he already said he couldn't play today (some called several times.)  "I guess they like you" I said.

I take Liam to an old-school barber shop because it's inexpensive, they do a good job and they have toys.  The last couple of times we've gone Liam's been pretty disappointed that he didn't get to play with the toys because we didn't have to wait.  The first time I went to this shop the lady who was there talked a blue streak and made me pretty uncomfortable.  This is what happened:

I was siting in the barber chair holding Liam because he was still pretty little and uncomfortable with the whole haircut experience.  She started to tell me about an argument she had with her teen-age daughter in which the girl turned and walked away and she reached out and grabbed her hair from the back to get her to turn back and participate in the conversation.  And in our actual conversation at that moment she reached out and put her hand (gently) around the back of my hair to demonstrate how she had done it.  Really.  This, combined with a general laundry list of disagreements she'd had lately with various family members all combined to create a major "Too Much Information" moment.  Thankfully she also told me that she only worked on Thursdays and Fridays, so since then I have avoided those days for Liam's haircuts.

But today I decided to take my chances.  Maybe she had moved on since then.  Maybe it would be better because even if she was there I wouldn't have to sit on the chair with Liam (he now pretty much loves getting his hair cut) so would have a little literal distance from her.  Well she was there and started in almost immediately telling me about her son's oldest son and how he needed a haircut for a family picture and her son's current fiance - who's a licensed beautician - trimmed a little around the ears and how the child's mother was very upset and the next time she saw the child he had a mangled home haircut that she really wanted to fix and......I really didn't want to know.  I realize that I spew sometimes on Facebook and this blog, but I think it's different because readers can just scroll down, not follow the link, or look away.  And really, I try not to air other people's "dirty laundry."  Online privacy is a myth and anyone who tells you differently is selling something.  But we do still have some choices about what information we put out in the world - virtual and face-to-face!

On to the Health Department.  Once I managed to find it.  I was so tired and distracted I had to turn around about four times and try to explain that we were not, in fact driving in the same lane we had been a few minutes before or we would have driven directly into the oncoming cars.  I have been there a FEW times before.  Oy!

They are just rolling out a new computer system, so the lady who checked us in apologized ahead of time for the inconvenience she was anticipating.  Liam was antsy and when I asked him (again) not to kick the chair he was sitting on over-and-over in a rhythmic ("It's music Mommy") way he got up and smelled my elbow.  While waiting for the check-in lady to get through her screens we had this conversation, starting with Liam's comment:

 "Hey!  Your pit's not smelly!"
"That's probably because it's my elbow and not my armpit."
"Where's your armpit?"
"It's here, but I'd rather you didn't smell it right now."
"Why?"
"Because it's not polite to smell people's armpits when other people who aren't in our family are around."
"Oh, but I can smell it when you're naked."
"Um..."
"When you're laying in bed naked and I smell it and fall back and YUCK!"
"Well, I'm not naked - I'm wearing my jammies.  I'll tell you something else that's not polite to talk about around people who aren't in our family and that's being naked."
"Why not?"
"Well they don't want to know about us being naked."
(Grins) "You just said it two times."
"I was trying to explain about it to you."

Well at least that lady had a story to tell around the dinner table.  Liam started crying before he ever got his two shots and said his legs really hurt afterward (he has decided the legs are much better than arms for shots).  We did not go to Target.

I realize I have been very lax in posting pictures lately.  Hopefully more will come soon.  I just tried to upload a video of Liam dancing, but it wouldn't work.

Highlighting Stuff

Yesterday Liam found a funky looking highlighter in a desk drawer.  It's triangular with a different color on each tip.  He asked if he could use it and since it's been sitting in that drawer for at least as long as he's been alive with no one contemplating using it I said yes.  My biggest regret was that he managed to get some on the shirt he was wearing - a new one I bought so that he wouldn't be stuck going to summer preschool in a wardrobe of shirts that are all slightly too small and look only slightly different after washing than they did before (they are stained.)

Liam's biggest regret was that after he had tried all the tips and put the lids back on, then tried to re-remove the lid of the color that worked best the tip actually broke off.  I have to admit, when he said, "Sorry mom, but I broke...." my heart did a little lurch.  You never know what a preschooler is going to break or how much expense or trouble is going to be involved in replacing or cleaning it up.  On the balance the highlighter was not a big loss.

But today he's remembering again the sad loss of clothing staining potential.  I told him it was OK because it was cheep to begin with (possibly free, actually.)  He says, "So if we need one we can get another one?"  Yes, I tell him, but I don't think we need another one - we weren't really using that one.  "Why?"

"Because we don't want to fill our house up with stuff we don't need."

That's an understatement.  Seriously, what do all the non-organizing-impaired people in the world do with all the old computer cables, packaged food they are never going to eat, pens that might work if you roll the tip over the bottom of a shoe, expired prescriptions that shouldn't end up in landfills and books they once enjoyed reading and might at some point want to revisit?  Are there people out there who don't feel traumatized by the loss of such objects?

One excuse I have (make) is that new stuff comes with an array of scents and fragrances that I still have to work hard to get rid of.  I recently bought two new sets of sheets to try to replace some that have actual holes in them.  I have washed them at least three times.  I put one set on the bed the other night and it didn't bother me - much.  I had to get out an old pillow case, though, to be able to sleep comfortably.  For all the bother of shifting stuff around and trying to remember what I have lurking in dark spaces it sometimes seems better to do that than to spend money that could be more enjoyably used and to soak up extra gallons of water making it usable.

And at times I really do get stuff out and use it after years of ignoring it.  Like when I pulled out my long, over-sized and outdated sweaters this winter to cover up the stretch panels on my maternity pants.  Or re-using the baby clothes that I refused to get rid of after Liam grew out of them - even though we were seriously thinking of NOT re-reproducing.  See - sometimes it works out.

So my saving grace is not getting stuff I don't think we REALLY need.  Like two dozen Hotwheels cars.  Trust me.  We really need those.  Gotta go.  I promised to take Liam to the library for story time.  What I love about the library is that you can give the stuff back.  Except for those book sale books for a dime.  That's a really good deal when you consider how much I would probably otherwise spend on fines.

If You're Pregnant and You Know It....

If I were going for a cute mommy blog that could pull lots of hits and have entries that go "viral" and get pinned on Pinterest this would be the spot where I would do a list of "What I will Miss about Being Pregnant" or "What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman" or (an annoying one I read recently that I don't think was actually a mommy blog) "Lies all Pregnant Women Tell."  But, as you may be able to tell from the ridiculous length of that last sentence, this is not one of those blogs.  Plus, it's been done.  I could provide links, but I'm not going to.  If you're coming here from Facebook maybe my brother-in-law has provided the "Let Me Google That for You" link.  Instead, I'm just going to ramble about what's been going on in our lives - much of which is directly affected by the overwhelmingly obvious fact that I am now just about a month from my official due date.

The weather has been on the comfortably cool-ish side for the past couple of days - definitely welcome.  This gave us (and by us I mean Allen) a chance to put down some new landscaping cloth and mulch on the side bed by our house.  Sadly we (and by we I mean Allen) had to pull out some of the rose bushes from that bed last year because they got sick.  The landscape cloth had lost it's spot and it's ability to keep the weeds out and the original-with-the-house mulch was wearing a bit thin.  It wouldn't have been on my priority list at all, but the neighbors are trying to sell their house and it runs right along the side of their driveway.  Liam and I actually do deserve a little credit for pulling a pile of weeds to get the bed ready.  Liam was pretty gung-ho to do some gardening, but he quickly got tired of picking up the weeds I had pulled and putting them in the wagon.  Getting in a position to pull the weeds was tricky enough without trying to also figure out how to twist around and deposit them on the pile.  Liam helpfully offered to move the wagon.

Yesterday Liam and I went to City park.  Sometimes we manage to arrange to meet friends there, but this time it was just the two of us.  We did run into one mom and son we knew from some group play dates we participated in a couple of years ago.  That little boy is just as - how can I say it - rambunctious as ever and Liam wasn't interested in playing with him, but it was nice to catch up with the mom.  Until another little boy her son was playing with decided to pour sand into her little guy's mouth and eyes.  She's from Japan and our discussions are sometimes limited by the language barrier.  They have almost always centered around our children and often around how challenging her boy is to take care of.  Believe me, I do not bring this subject up - she does.  As she scooped him up and ran toward the bathroom I was left thinking about the dynamics of our children's behavior and our reactions.

I also got into a discussion with a mom I'd never met before about childbirth.  It's a funny thing how between women some usually intensely private details become available for pretty public consumption.  She's had four kids, so has lots more experience than me, but she described her deliveries as relatively fast and easy which I definitely can't relate to at this point.  One can always hope but...  My motto is "Hope for the best, plan for the worst."

But late last night I got thinking about giving birth and visualizing possible scenarios and couldn't get to sleep.  Which was bad because I had been super tired all day and really needed the sleep.  I remember all the comments people made when I was pregnant with Liam like "Get sleep now - while you can" that sent a chill down my spine at the time.  They were right, but now I generally can't get sleep when I could - my body and the circumstances seem to rarely line up.

I really need to get practicing the self hypnosis strategies I used when I was in labor with Liam more consistently.  My excuse is that by evening, when it's quiet enough and I have the time, I'm tired and don't think I can concentrate well enough to do it.  I remember some of it and have been practicing that, but since most of giving birth happens when tired I really should just DO IT.  Makes me nervous, though.  I guess I just have to get to the point where I'm more nervous about the possibility of not being prepared than about the thought of actually preparing.

I did get a little bit of a nap this afternoon.  It was Liam's idea.  I think he may have been tired out by having to get another filling today.  I read him a story on our bed and then he looked at books while I actually fell asleep.  He thought he might sleep too, but he didn't.  I'm not sure how long I slept, but I woke up because blue bunny came to snuggle - with a little help from Liam who had been making trips to the living room to eat tomatoes which I had helpfully left out.

It's supposed to be hot this weekend and stay hot for a while.  I'm not looking forward to that!

Meltdowns Happen

We got a new kiddie pool the other day.  We needed one that fell between the huge - takes half an hour to fill - and the tiny - single ring inflatable - categories.  (Sorry that sentence needs some editing, I know.  More dashes maybe?)  Liam decided he'd rather have the (bright) pink than the blue, so that's what we got.  We tried it out today and although Liam was disappointed that I wouldn't have a water fight with him I think he was pretty satisfied overall.  After all, he cried when we came in so he could use the bathroom and it turned out to be time for me to leave and go get my teeth cleaned.

I don't know if it's because Allen and I have been especially tired and stressed lately, or because Liam has been suffering from a lack of social interaction (what with preschool and music class done for now), but we've been having a lot of meltdowns lately.  Most of them have been by Liam. 

One of my theories is that he tries so hard to "keep occupied" and to follow the rules and to put up with life's disappointments that once in a while the dam breaks and a torrent of tears follows.  Also, once he starts crying he has a really hard time stopping.  I always try to be empathetic.  Even if I feel his tears are totally uncalled for and even possibly manipulative I still am sorry that life is frustrating and we don't always get what we want.  After all, if it were socially acceptable I might vent my excess emotion with loud crying every day or so myself.  As it is I indulge in lots of sighs and too many computer games.  Sometimes we distract him with humor ("Don't smile!  Hey, I see that smile...Uh oh, I think I heard a laugh....) or tickling or hugs or even stories.

But sometimes he's crying because he's been pushing my buttons all day long and finally ran up against a consequence he doesn't like.  This happened last night and I wasn't inclined to give in to any of his requests for help with getting calmed down.  I still tried to offer empathy, but I also expressed some of my frustration.  I flat our refused to read stories or let him play computer games and offered hugs, but not snuggling.  It seemed to me that some part of him wanted to prolong this miserable moment and just when he was starting to calm down (OK, I vacillated and tried making funny faces at him) he did that thing where you stick your tongue between your lips and blow air through - inches from my face so that his breath and spit got on me - which I can't stand and mentioning that this is not something we do set the whole thing in motion again.  Finally I walked into the kitchen to make supper, Allen followed me, and Liam stopped crying minutes later.  At supper he (Liam) said, "I'm glad that crisis is over!"

Part of me knows that it's not healthy to make life "too easy" for kids.  That letting him find his way back to emotional equilibrium is going to help him.  But I still firmly believe that learning to suppress the expression of emotions other people are not comfortable with is tragically different from learning to deal with overwhelming emotions and I'd like to help him do the second rather than the first.  I'm really not sure how that works sometimes - how to do it myself, let alone how to help him learn to do it!

Also, I wish he wasn't so aware of how tired I am.  Today while he was playing in the pool he asked me if I wanted to be a tree in water.  I said no, I didn't think so, and he wanted to know why.  I wanted to know why I would want to be a tree in water and he said so that I would have the water I needed and I said "Why would I want to be a tree at all?" 
He said, "So you wouldn't have to work so hard to take care of me."
I said (after a moment), "I'm happy to take care of you."
He asked, "Even when it takes a lot of energy?"
"Yes."
"Oh."

And I try to comfort myself by hoping that in the long term he will see that I'm happy to be his Mom and that hard thing are worth doing and that although I often say that I'd like a nap I'd still rather have him than unlimited napping privileges.  Maybe I should try to spell that out a little more clearly sometimes soon!

Here's a picture illustrating a moment when he had made a valient effort to pull himself together after a tragic misunderstanding about the importance of this line of dinosaurs and taking a picture of them at just the right moment.  Also you can see evidence of the quickly approaching arrival of "little brother."

Conversations - The Stuff of Life

Liam picks up a paintbrush, tries to pull the end off, and says, "This thing dried on really good!" 
I say, "Good!  Leave it on."
Liam:  "Why?"
Allen: "Because that's what Mommy said."
Liam:  "And....?"
Allen:  "And that's enough of a reason."
Liam:  "Leave me alone.  Don't interrupt me any more.  No more interruptions."  Lots of "humps" and repetitions of this phrase.

Yesterday we were eating supper when Liam's whole face lights up and he says, in a stage whisper, "I know what to get Daddy for Fathers day!"
"Don't tell" I say.  "We'll talk about it later."
"No, I'll forget."
So I put my hand along the side of his face and as Allen chuckles Liam says, "Dress shoes!  Black ones, like in the closet!"
The secret is out.  I told Allen about it last night after Liam went to bed.  Allen almost never wears his dress shoes.  I don't know if Liam had even ever seen them before they came out of the closet while we were emptying it out so the carpet could be cleaned.  I guess something about them sparked his imagination.  Now I have to figure out how to convince him to get his Dad something else for Fathers day. (Since blog posts are not written in a moment I can now report that Liam was not aware of Allen's good pair of dress shoes.  He thought that a really shot pair that we threw away was the only one.  He was satisfied to move on to other ideas when he discovered this.)

The other day (possibly when I was cleaning in the bedroom and Liam was laying on the floor in front of the mirror at the end of the hallway trying to drive me out of my mind) Liam took a good look at his eyelashes in the mirror.  He decided they were like girls eyelashes.  But he doesn't wear make-up on his eyes like girls.  It sounded like he meant mascara, so when he asked I told him I don't wear it either.  Confusing.  Some girls do and some don't.  We didn't get into the issue of whether some boys wear this type of make-up. 

Allen and I have been discussing the individual who leaked information about the government "spying" on the digital and cell phone communications of American citizens.  (I'm not trying to start a big discussion about this.  The summary of what Allen and I think is:  What the government has been doing is legal at this time.  People who don't like that fact should pursue legal avenues to try to change it rather than breaking the law and possibly committing treason.  Giving up a cushy life to "whistle blow" legal government activity does not make one a hero.)  This topic came up at supper one night and since Liam can hardly stand to witness a conversation that doesn't involve him thing got simplified a little to "good guys" and "bad guys." 
I asked him, "Who are the bad guys?"
He said, "The ones who get caught."
I asked, "Who are the good guys?"
He said, "Us, and the police."
This may seem like a huge oversimplification, but in my mind it points to some of the complicated issues involved in protecting national security.

The other day when we were out on the deck doing water play (yes, I actually wore the bathing suit I purchased after deciding that, although I can still get it on my old one is uncomfortably tight at the moment for some reason) Liam and I discussed the last time he went over to the neighbor's yard when they had their "big" inflatable pool out.  He said that he went over because the little girl from across the street was there, not because of the little boy who actually lives next door was playing.  He said, "She obeys better." 
Then he said something along the lines of, "I obey good when I'm around my friends.  But not when I'm with Mommy and Daddy."  You heard it here first.

Long or Short

I have officially reached a point in this pregnancy where everyone who sees me asks how long it is until my due date.  Seven weeks - give or take.  Responses are split between "Coming soon!" and "That's a while still."  Depending partly on whether the person speaking has given birth.

It seems like both a long and a short time to me.  The list of tasks I feel should be completed and items I want to acquire has begun to weigh on me heavily lately.  Thankfully my parents came up on Thursday and we all put in a couple of days of hard work and got several items checked off my "do" list.  And I hit a few garage sales and got some of the major items on my "get" list.

I left most of the photo taking to Liam.  One of the major tasks we had planned was getting the carpet cleaned.  We got some great professional help on the actual cleaning, but prepping the areas that needed to be cleaned was no small task.  Liam was very excited about seeing the living room "naked." 

I made sure to get a pictures of Liam's Lego "sculptures" before they got moved in case they didn't survive the trip.  All during the spring semester he wanted to take these creations for Show and tell at preschool.  After several such sessions I convinced him we could take pictures for him to take, but we didn't actually manage it.  So here is a picture.  Maybe he will take it when he starts summer preschool in about three weeks.

 The actual, almost completely naked living room.

I managed to miss the actual cleaning because I got my schedule mixed up and double booked myself.  Thankfully Liam was very excited about getting to stay with Grammy and Grandpa instead of being dragged along to the doctor's office.

A friend passed this rocker/glider on to me.  It's been through several babies already, and the cushions were not in the best shape.  Mom and I found some fabric we really liked and Mom did an amazing job recovering the cushions.  We both forgot to take a before picture.

This shot shows the fabric a little better.  Ties in great with other furniture in the room, so Mom made arm chair covers as well.

The time not spent upholstering or moving furniture was spent rearranging and organizing.  Not my strong point at all.  But we made some good progress with relatively little grouching from me.  Things are still in a bit of a jumble.  I spent today dusting our bedroom and cleaning the floor.  Liam spent it whining about how terrible his life is when Mommy is too busy to play with him.  In the late afternoon we did make it to the library for  little "relaxing."  (Which is what Liam had been lobbying for all day.)

Now before you make comments about "nesting" just let me say this:  I get it.  a pregnant woman cleaning and organizing her house is a cliche.  But I didn't really do much of this type of thing before Liam was born and I found the chaos of recovering from childbirth while caring for a person who is very confused about the purpose of sleep very overwhelming.  I'm just trying to avoid a little of the chaos this time.

Also, I will be painfully honest and say that some of this cleaning has not really been done since.....Well lets just say that the house was pretty clean when we moved in eight or so years ago.  So the idea of navigating through sleepless nights and coping with blow-out diapers while dodging man-eating dust balls was starting to stress me out.  So yes, it is a cliche, but in this case it's also really needed!

"Mr. Tom"

In this post at least one name has been changed to protect the innocent - or at least the identity of a neighborhood friend who is not a computer buff.  When I asked him if I could post some pictures of him on the internet he wanted to know why.  When I tried to explain about the blog he said, "Well I hope I'm important in your lives." 

Well he is.  This gentleman lives within walking distance of us and loves to spend time out in his yard cultivating a large and sometimes unruly garden.  When Liam was tiny - probably the summer he turned two - we spent a lot of time walking around the neighborhood and ended up talking with Mr. Tom.  He welcomed us to explore his yard any time and sometimes we did.  Other than the garden it has some nice big trees, a few small seats and some bird feeders.

We've gotten to know Mr. Tom and his daughter, who lives with him, pretty well.  Now whenever we show up - unannounced - and Liam knocks loudly on the back door, he invites us in for sugar cookies and milk.  If his daughter shows up while we're there she usually finds some happy meal toys for Liam.

Mr. Tom loves music.  He plays the ukulele.  When Liam was younger Mr. Tom loved to listen to Liam sing and to sing along.  Liam even got to strum on the ukulele once.    Unfortunately Mr. Tom's hearing isn't so good, so he often can't understand what Liam's saying - even now when I think Liam is pretty easy to understand.

Yesterday, though, Liam picked some cars to take and show Mr. Tom.  This time, face to face and on the same level, Mr. Tom was able to follow most of what Liam was saying with only a few interpretations from me.  I got a few shots of the conversation.  It was at least as funny and precious to watch and listen to as the pictures suggest.

Haircut Before and After

I finally got the haircut that I've been thinking/talking about since it was freezing cold outside.  At that time I decided to keep the hair since it provides insulation that even the coziest of of hats can't rival.  But now even on cooler days the house warms up by evening and I find myself lifting the stuff off of my neck to try to cool off.  Pony-tail, you say.  Those things hurt my head.  And they bug me, so I'm constantly fooling with them.  So I'm not really a long hair person and often end up with a pretty short haircut in the spring.  This is particularly short, even for me.  So without further ado, here are pictures before:

and after:

Yes, they were taken on two different days.  The first day I was thinking of getting it done there was a long wait at the el-cheepo, walk-in only place I usually go to so I went shopping instead.  (Just for the record, buying a swim suit when seven months pregnant may not be the best "pick-me-up" activity even if everyone does tell you all the time how tiny you are when pregnant.)  The second time there was a similar wait, and I found out that the person I was hoping to have do it isn't working there any more, so I just went to another place and got in right away.  I think I like it, although it will take me a little while to get used to it.

Summer reading Program

I almost forgot about it, but we managed to get to the library in time to sign Liam up for the summer reading program on the first day of sign ups.  It's a program where you keep track of the books you read (or have read to you) and turn in "points" for prizes during the summer and a drawing at the end.  Liam won a "Dora the Explorer" prize package one year.  The motivation to go today was that they had a special "dirt dessert."  The theme this year is "Dig into Reading" so they had chocolate pudding in a cup with chocolate graham cracker crumbs and a gummy worm.  Liam wasn't actually that impressed with the pudding - didn't manage to finish a small paper cup full.  When I asked him if he was just done with it or wanted to take a drink then finish he said, "Take a drink, then be done.  To get the taste out of my mouth."

While we were at the library he built a tower out of some of their small "Kapla" blocks.  He wanted to make it taller than himself, which we managed to accomplish together before the library closed.  Here's pictorial evidence: